Are big girls allowed to talk about food?

My life is a constant battle between wanting to smear my entire body with a meat filled pizza and counting squats and the calories in broccoli. It is tough!

The biggest lesson I learnt in 2015 is that, fat is expensive! It is actually very expensive to maintain fat lifestyle. Its so hard to keep up with the fat times. I mean the time, fuel and money you put in, into getting a pizza or a couple of pieces of fried chicken. The same goes to the bottles of beer and the many shots of brown liquor. It is no easy task! Amidst the great task of expanding your waist size, it actually causes you to now buy new clothes, because the other ones are too small.

AND to add to that, your electricity bill remains high because you are always lying belly up on your bed or couch watching TV or something off your laptop because you are too heavy and lazy to get up and do exercise.

Then you die and then they have to spend more wood on your coffin because – BEING FAT IS EXPENSIVE!

It is also expensive because when you do decide to lose weight, personal trainers make you pay out of your ass for their services and you need them because you can no longer rely on yourself because YOU put You in that position!

I have had a constant battle with my weight because I love throwing parties in my mouth, food has been my vice since the beginning of time! Food is bae! However, I never saw myself dying from a cardiovascular disease- I hope to die in a plane crash in a private plane or head on collusion with a Rolls Royce- something glamorous!

I learnt the hardest way that fat is expensive by actually doing all the things mentioned above – apart from dying! I think that is imperative to spend your formative years taking care of yourself, so that golden years are truly golden. You cannot wait for a milestone to take care of yourself – the journey has to begin at the beginning (of life).

The real care is in the balance, have 6 days of good behaviour and one with no regards or respect for yourself. I mean, I am going to a bake sale (I am going mainly to inhale the smell of freshly baked goods) and I will take one or two bites into some treats but come Monday I shall run like I stole money from the bank and they sent Interpol to look for me.

On a serious note, I do curb my cravings; otherwise I could end up on a binge! So if I feel like cake, I will cut a small piece and curb that craving – I mean one salad won’t make you skinny, just like a piece of cake won’t make you morbidly obese. Portion control is key!

Science does tell us that optimal results are acquired at equilibrium.

ION-I am very excited for the bake sale! Wait! Didn’t I just say that? Oh well! Still excited

*shimmys to the front, shimmys to the back…then unexpected split*


3 thoughts on “Are big girls allowed to talk about food?

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